The importance of stories

 ""I didn't do it," I said. 'I never touched that lady. She thought it was me. You couldn't tell her that I didn't break into her room and hold her down. When she was on the stand, I couldn't even look her in the face, because in her eyes, I was a barbarian, worse than a dog. When I looked at her looking at me, I became what she thought I was."" from An American Marriage by Tayari Jones 2018.

 I just finished this novel. This was a hard but necessary read. I don't mean hard as in "dense" or boring.  It was beautiful writing and an intelligent, nuanced study. But the story was difficult to hear, because it reflects reality for many people living in my country. 

When I finished, the quote above stuck out in this story of one black man's life and the havoc created for him and his family from a false accusation and the ensuing experience in our criminal justice system.

This novel, took me from knowing in an intellectual sense that black lives matter and that our country continues to harm them daily, that this myth of the "dangerous black man" is perpetuated through our actions (conscious and unconscious) as a nation. I knew, I know, black lives matter. But after reading this story, I understand more deeply not just that black lives matter in the abstract, but that this man's life matters, as does that of his wife, friends and family. I know that his life that he worked so hard to achieve and that was snatched away abruptly, ruthlessly, matters. It was lost because of a myth so deeply engrained that for many it is called "justice" and for others it is called "reality." But really it is fear. It is fear.

This is the power of storytelling. Facts are a necessary preliminary to action, but they seldom cause a change in heart or spur a true change. Facts alone allow us to keep our distance. But stories draw us into the heart, the mind of the person. We can't run away from the mirror held up to ourselves in this story. We can't hide from the common humanity.

Life can be cruel. There are many ways that our lives can be abruptly changed...illness, injury, rejection, heartbreak, death. We have the power to remove only a few of these possible disruptors. We can remove this one, but only if we are willing to discuss it, to learn the facts, to listen to the stories and then to work for change. 

Thank you Ms Jones for sharing this powerful story. 

I recommend this book, but also any story that gives you someone else's perspective. Read. Empower yourself with knowledge, with empathy for the lives of others. 

Peace out,

Sheila