Does anybody really know what time it is?

"Together and apart
Do it all again
Right back to the start
Straight up to the end
I'm such a fool
Got everything and you
Yet my heart is so blue
I'm singing for nothing

I get no joy
I get no joy
All the words my mother said
Can't seem to get them out my head
Everything becomes everything
You live, you learn, you love, you're dead
I get no joy

I swear that I don't pay attention
If I did, would intervention come to me in a dream?

Or is that just what the directors and the pills and
Other deflectors would have you believe?
Psychotic, hypnotic, erotic; which box is your thing?
Fact how many days a week do you feel
Electric, connected, unexpectedly affected?
What do you need?
What do you need?

I get no joy
I get no joy
All the words my mother said
Can't seem to get them out my head
Everything becomes everything
You live, you learn, you love, you're dead
I get no joy

I know the sun will shine
Another day, another time
I know the sun will shine
Another day, another time
I know the sun will shine
I know the sun will shine
Electric, connected, unexpectedly affected
What do you need?" 

    Jade Bird

"Well, then can I walk beside you? I have come to lose the smog.
And I feel like I'm a cog in something turning.
And maybe it's the time of year, yes, and maybe it's the time of man.
And I don't know who I am but life is for learning.
We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon,
and we got to get ourselves back to the garden."

    Joni Mitchel

"I will try

 I will try. 

 I will step from the house to see what I see 

 and hear and I will praise it.

 I did not come into this world

 to be comforted.

 I came, like the red bird, to sing.

 But I'm not the red bird, with his head-mop of flame

 and the red triangle of his mouth

 full of tongue and whistles, 

 but a woman whose love has vanished,

 who thinks now, too much, of roots 

 and the dark places 

 where everything is simply holding on.

 But this too, I believe, is a place

 where God is keeping watch 

 until we rise, and step forth again and---

 but wait. Be still. Listen!

 Is it red bird? Or something 

 inside myself, singing?"

Mary Oliver

 This blog is about cycles. Bear with me. 

There are cycles all around us- seasons end and then return. We see the moon's full reflection, then it waxes and wanes.  Animals, vegetables, minerals, they all go through cycles. Individuals come and go but life/consciousness persists. Is there an ongoing consciousness?

 Buddhists believe our quest is to  ultimately be released from our cycle of physicality to become part of the eternal enlightenment. (a rough non Buddhist summary of a far more complex belief system, based on limited readings). Christianity teaches us our quest is to reach heaven for "eternal life" with God.  But we can't really grasp what never ending joy would be. Would it be dull? (check out "the good place" and "good omens" for some funny thoughts on this matter). "Jews believe in individual and collective participation in an eternal dialogue with God through tradition, rituals, prayers and ethical actions. The most important teaching of Judaism is that there is one God, who wants people to do what is just and compassionate. " Wikipedia and conversations/exposure to the Jewish religion/rituals/readings. The Jews focus more on the here and now and understand the continuity is of the faith, not the person so much. There are a multitude of other belief systems many of us have ignored that honor the cycles of the world. They honor the physical and the spiritual properties of beings- I am thinking of druids and other "pagans" and "indigenous" peoples and their belief systems.  Some people believe in "something bigger than themselves" that is undefined, that is eternal, that brings value to the universe. Others only see the physical world and rale against any "non rational, non scientific, non physical" explanations for anything. They deny that there is any intrinsic meaning or value to life. It just is, and any systems of morality exist to allow us to live together in this world but are not ordained from above or beyond. I think Plato and Aristotle had some things to say about this but I am ages away from my Philosophy 101 studies. 

The point is we humans recognize and take comfort in cycles. Things change, but they also stay the same. We also have cycles of hope and despair throughout our own lives and throughout our shared history. There have been dark times before, just as many would describe this time as dark. We are starting to see the light at the end of the Pandemic- if we can just "run through the finish line" and not drop out with 10 yards to go. As someone who has run a few marathons, I understand how deeply tempting it may be to stop even with the finish line so close. It is irrational and stupid, but oh so tempting. Keep wearing  your masks and physically distancing for just a bit longer. Get your vaccine as soon as you can....

I think the real point of this blog when I set out to write it is to point out that cycles imply change- death AND rebirth- but we don't really understand what that means beyond what nature shows us...really. In our own lives when we are in a period of despair it is supremely hard to imagine a time when it will not be bad. This is not a fault of us as individuals. It is part of the human condition. Sadly,  if we lose connection with others and with the natural world, we may not recognize that this despair will have an end and feel that continuing in this period of despair is too painful,  death by our own hand would be a release.  Jadebird sings of this despair, but finds a little hope- I know the sun will shine, another day, another time.  Joni Mitchell understands both the cycles of life (getting back to the garden) and the need for connection- "by the time we got to Woodstock, we were half a million strong!" Mary Oliver finds hope in herself and in nature- here the red bird.  I just want to put it out there. Life will change, hope is not misplaced. We can't see that sometimes. Don't get lost in despair. FInd a connection. You can start with me if you want. I am here.

Reading suggestions: 

1. Siddhartha ' Herman Hesse 1951

2. East of Eden - John Steinbeck 1952 "thou mayest"

*3. Red Bird - Mary Oliver 2008

Play list - public on spotify smknerr "I get no joy"

 https://open.spotify.com/user/smknerr/playlist/7zOmRrLGC5qLvZdvjpxwIT?si=093lUX0-T7OvC1dDiG2OZg