Book Recommendations

 1. "The Island of Missing Trees" Elif Shafak 2021

  2. "What to Do, How to Live" Josh Cohen 2021

3. "To the Bright Edge of the World"  Eowyn Ivey 2016

4. "Nudge: the Final Edition" Cass Sunstein and Richard Thaler 2021

Where are the strong, and who are the trusted?

" Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?

 Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?

Where have all the flowers gone?

Young girls have picked them everyone

Oh, when will they ever learn?

Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone, long time passing?
Where have all the young girls gone, long time ago?
Where have all the young girls gone?
Gone for husbands everyone
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?


Where have all the husbands gone, long time passing?
Where have all the husbands gone, long time ago?
Where have all the husbands gone? Gone for soldiers everyone Oh, when will they ever learn? Oh, When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the soldiers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards everyone 

Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone, long time passing?

Where have all the graveyards gone, long time ago?

Where have all the graveyards gone? 

Gone to flowers everyone

Oh, when will they ever learn?

When will they ever learn?"

Pete Seeger 1955

Dated yes, but still a song to make you think. Described by many as a song of hope and peace. I am not sure I see the hopeful part there. Mr Seeger says he was inspired to write it by a book about the Cossacks in Russia in the 19th century...Have we learned anything?

I remember listening to this song on my father's reel to reel tapes in the 1970s when I was a young child. My father was no beatnik:) He was a naval officer for 20 years who spent time serving on submarines during the Vietnam War. He did describe himself as a pacifist, but he did his duty, serving his country, trying to serve others. He was a complex person although he would claim not to be. He lived his life trying to follow his ideals of honesty and humility and tried to pass on those teachings to his children. He was so impactful because of how he lived, not what he said.

 You are a complex person aren't you? You are not consistent in all of your thoughts and beliefs but you try right? We are all complex individuals...We all have our scars.

I just want you to know. I am labelled as a member of "the woke mob" that politicians run ads about as evil people that must be defeated. I am a Pediatrician-have been for 26 years. I run an early literacy project to help get kids reading. I have a Little Free library in front of my house in suburban PA. I have been married for 32 years. I have 3 children. I have 2 rescue dogs (currently). Am I evil in your eyes? If so, I'd like to talk with you one on one and share some stories... yours and mine.
Peace out.
Sheila

Ho Ho Ho

 "Now Cinderella don't you go to sleep
It's such a bitter form of refuge
Ah, don't you know the kingdom's under siege
And everybody needs you
Is there still magic in the midnight sun
Or did you leave it back in sixty-one
In the cadence of a young man's eyes
Out where the dreams all hide"

Brandon Flowers - Dustland

"When everyone is up front and they're not playing tricks
When you don't have no freeloaders out to get their kicks
When it's nobody's business the way that you want to live
I just have to remember there'll be days like this

When no one steps on my dreams there'll be days like this
When people understand what I mean there'll be days like this
When you ring out the changes of how everything is
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this"

Van Morrison - Days like this

I keep thinking back to a high school "back to school night"for my child Aidan. Their debate teacher was talking about topics for the year and said something like.." you as parents can opt out of a specific topic if you don't want your child to discuss it, as YOU OWN YOUR CHILDREN." Later I said to her that I did not own my children. She just shrugged, like she knew that, but most parents acted like they did.

I am thinking about it because I have been watching in amazement at how many people, in the face of ever entangling contradictions between what they believe and what is actually happening, choose not to attempt to disentangle themselves, but rather, dig in their heels deeper and become dogmatic, even at the cost of their own or their community's health or well being. I have been a witness to this for years (and probably a participant in it too as we all have our own blindnesses), but it seems to have accelerated in the last generation. This may be in part because of the widespread easy accessibility of information (and misinformation) but also may be because successive generations are becoming bolder in proclaiming their desire to be themselves.  It is certainly being exploited by political leaders.

 As we know, much of this has to do with fear. We are so afraid of being rejected by our clan ( read: political party or other community of believers), that rather than showing the kindness and compassion we know should be at the core of any belief system., we make the "others" out to be monsters to justify our own beliefs and actions.  This is a known psychological phenomenon, but why is it so entrenched in people right now?

I go back to the "you own your kids" mentality. If you believe you can and should shape the beliefs of your children to conform with your own (or your groups), rather than allow and encourage them to follow their own paths (which can be scary to watch and do), then you raise a group of people that are entrenched in fear of being rejected for being themselves. 

And combine that with all of the above factors, mix in some greed, and here we are...

In response to my perceived lack of ability to persuade anyone of anything and my own rising dismay and fear of sinking in to the morass of placing others into preconceived pigeon holes, I think I might try something new for a while here. There are so many people making noise out there, and nothing new seems to be said. People just listen to themselves and demonize others.  It just makes me sad that anger and hatred seem to be the currency of the day and I don't want to be angry anymore.

The one thing I will keep trying to promote is literacy. Just read. Read to your kids, read on your own. Read for pleasure or to gain insight or knowledge. Facts matter!  But the ability to think critically matters more than just accepting information at face value. Stories also matter. Stories can cut to the heart of what it means to be alive in this world- as a certain type of being, in a certain physical landscape, with a certain point of view. Books help you see into worlds besides the one in your own head which is only your one interpretation of the world you live in perceived with the senses you possess...

So read, please. More and more I feel like it is humanity's last hope.

With that being said, dear reader (ie my one follower:)), I plan to use this forum for a little while to talk about what I "learned" from the books I am reading in the form of direct quotes from the books to hopefully entice you to read either these books or others you find on your own. Feel free to comment, suggest, or point out my own blind spots. I am a fairly prolific reader and choose from fiction and non fiction but don't really read a great number of books from the YA and science fiction genres that are pretty popular today. I have no system for picking my books. Last year, "Honest Dog Bookstore" in Bayfield Wisconsin picked out a book for me each month which was really fun. I had already read 2 of the 12 they sent, but that just meant they "got me" and I regifted the duplicates in my LFL or to a friend. The others were not ones I would've picked on my own, and while I loved some, I only liked a few, but I read them all and in the process opened my mind a bit and broadened my horizons. So yay.

The last 4 books I read were pretty remarkable: 

1. "Finding the Mother Tree" by Suzanne Simard 2021

2. "Conversations with Barry Lopez: Walking the Path of Imagination" by William Tydeman 2013

3. "The Plover" by Brian Doyle 2015

4. "The Witch of Portobello" Paulo Coelho 2006

Where do I start? I think for this first one, I will start where I will end with a few quotes from Mr Lopez from his 2003-2007 interviews: 

On the importance of stories:

"If you and I witness the same event and remember it differently, that's an expression of a difference in our personalities. In an ideal society, instead of asking who remembers what happened, we'd say, "Will everyone who saw what happened tell us what they remember?" That's what a library does. That's why there are so many books in the library." 

On "nature':

" When I hear geese pass over, they excite a sense of the vertical dimension of life here for me. It's just a few calls, but they're moving much higher in the volume of space we occupy together. That's what I mean about the ordinary--it opens directly into the extraordinary. What I'm after is how the numinous transits into the divine. I think "nature writing"---that term I hate---is, some of it, a deliberate attempt to re-infuse the ordinary with the extraordinary, to re-infuse material life with the spiritual life-- to return metaphysics to physics." 

"Stewardship for me implies that the cards have been dealt in static time, and that humans hold all the aces...A different concept, one that I would be more comfortable with, is responsible participation. You could say that all animals participate in the world. But what culture and consciousness combine to give human beings is the concept of the responsible behavior of the participant."

"I've had these feelings since childhood, that there is something on the other side, that nature was animated in a way Western culture rejected. Nobody ever disabused me of the idea. When I left Notre Dame, I still believed strongly in the nonrational foundation, the spiritual dimension, if you will, of the physical world we call "nature." And when I became acquainted with Native American metaphysics,...I thought "Here are people who approach this the way I do." 

"Some people would say I am no respectful enough of science. No careful reader, I think, would ever say that. What I will not do is promote a hierarchy where one group of people claims to possess the truth and tells others they must become believers or else, whether it's in religion or some hierarchy of human epistemologies or a brand of fundamentalism in politics. I don't see that life is in any way diminished by immersing yourself in the insolubility of its mysteries."

"Frankly, I feel like I'm living in a time of entrenched and catastrophic ignorance. The number of people who don't want to consider some other way, for whom science is an enemy, is terrifying. The degree to which religious dogma has affected the discourse about human fate is chilling."

On dehumanization with globalization:

"I see the power of institutions, the way they gravitate towards a dangerous kind of mediocrity, as a strong indication that a large scale institutions can't ever be effective. The environmental issues that need to be addressed, simply can't be addressed in the time available by institutions-by federal governments, by banks, by big business. They are too timid, too mired in and antiquated Western folklore of superiority, too wedded to the idea that any regulation signals their end. The only successful ways in which these large problems are being addressed is through the sharing of information and the sharing of ways of acting that are effective."

Oh I could just quote the whole book. There is so much more about these topics...if you care to find out more:)

Peace out, and Best Wishes for a happy, healthy 2022-

*PLEASE get your covid vaccine. Your friends are depending on you. 

Silence is Golden

"Goodnight stress, see you in the morning

I don't gotta guess, you're always there for me
Sowing them seeds of doubt, I think you like seeing me freak out
Goodnight stress, see you in the morning

So I wake up, I get out of bed
Stay up, stay out of my head
'Cause it's dangerous
And I don't wanna lose my mind, no

I just wanna shine like the sun when it comes up
Run the city from the rooftops
'Cause today's gonna be my day
I just wanna climb to the top of a mountain
Standing tall when I'm howlin'
'Cause today's gonna be my day"

Fitz and the Tantrums

It has been a little bit since I have posted anything. I'm sure my one follower is very sad;)

There has just been so much yelling and fighting and suing people and firing people and people quitting and so few staff in hospitals to take care of people and bills not getting voted on or passed in Congress and bills getting passed in Texas and the Supreme Court and no progress on anything except people being mean, being selfish, being greedy. Any acts of kindness are lost in the shuffle.

I have no words of wisdom. I am just trying to let kindness prevail in my actions. But it is hard. Good luck to all of you out there just trying to get through. Be kind to others, be kind to the earth. Get vaccinated...please.

Peace out.

Sheila

Recommended reading: "Splendid Solution: Jonas Salk and the Conquest of Polio" by Jeffrey Kluger

"I can't go on...I'll go on."

" Where I am, I don't know, I'll never know, in the silence you don't know, you must go on,  I can't go on, I'll go on. You're on earth. There's no cure for that."

 Samuel Beckett "The Unnamable" 1959

Samuel Beckett was an Irish author, most famous perhaps,  for his play "Waiting for Godot", and for his quote above. 

According to everyone's favorite source (Wikipedia): "Broadly speaking, the play deals with the subject of despair and the will to survive in spite of that despair, in the face of an uncomprehending and incomprehensible world." 

And per Chris Power in a 2016 article in The Guardian: "Beckett came to believe failure was an essential part of any artist's work, even as it remained their responsibility to try to succeed. His best known expressions of this philosophy appear at the end of his novel "The Unnamable"-- "you must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on, " and in the 1983 story "Worstward Ho" -- "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." 

I have not read much of his work, but these quotes and their analysis speak to me right now in the midst of this pandemic and our response to it.  The video below also speaks to me:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRV82KUF/

(search @drglaucomflecken on tiktok for his top liked september 2020 video). He's on youtube too.

Be safe. Be smart. Be kind.

Peace out,

Sheila

Suggested reading: anything that makes you take someone else's point of view, just read.

Playlist "I can't go on, I'll go on" public on spotify, search smknerr.

 link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/28eQXRgVEacQQ26bI1qgbM?si=WKQuwN1uRParntLJhmKzAQ&dl_branch=1

 

Stopped Making Sense

"The world is loaded

It's lit to pop and nobody is gonna stop

No one
No one!
No way
Gonna
Stop, now go!

Farm people
Book wavers, soul savers
Love teachers!

Lit to pop and nobody is gonna stop"

Jane's Addiction


" I'm out on my own walkin' the streets
I look at the faces that I meet
I feel like I, like I want to go home
What do I feel?
What do I know?
But I still believe, I still believe
Through the shame and through the grief
Through the heartache, through the tears
Through the waiting, through the years
For people like us in places like this
We need all the hope that we can get
Oh, I still believe
Lie, lie, lie
Oh, yeah yeah
Lie, lie, lie"

The Call


"If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know, no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on, in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no
Help me out, yeah
You know you gotta help me out, yeah
Oh, don't you put me on the back burner
You know you gotta help me out, yeah"

The Killers


Everyone is angry. People are yelling at each other- on tv, on social media, at school board meetings...
The landscape is shifting and people want a certainty that neither science nor reason can seem to give.
Science is never about certainty, but that is not what people want to hear. Ideally, recommendations scientists make are based on the most accurate, most up to date data, and not influenced by a political or economic agenda. That is the ideal, but that is not always true or even possible.
Sometimes recommendations try to keep everyone as safe as possible, and may entail some individual sacrifice or inconvenience.
Experts in science including biology, medicine and statistics do have more ability to give reasonable risk assessments for different strategies than someone without their background and experience.

But how safe does everybody need to be? How safe can they be? People have different levels of tolerance for risk and that is hard when making policy recommendations for a group of heterogeneous people.

To some degree, people in our "representative democracy" should have a say in what level of risk they are willing to accept, what trade offs in their own comfort or safety they will give up, to keep themselves safe.

But what happens when what I decide for myself, or my child, affects everyone else- other individuals who are less safe due to my decision, and the whole global population who continues to give safe haven to a virus that is changing as it multiplies and may become more successful at evading our mitigation strategies?

People in America like to scream loudly about their "constitutional rights and freedoms." I think people are confusing freedom with selfishness. But in reality, your freedom to do what you want, is always limited by the harm it will cause to the general populace. If you live in a society, you have to follow some rules. America's freedoms are not free...they are not won with guns but with responsible actions and sacrifices that allow us to function. We struggle with the limits of the balance between rights and responsibilities and that has been America at it's best. I am proud to be an American when we can have constructive debates and move forward as a society.

Enter the screaming people...yelling loudest, calling people who have other points of view, or talk about facts they don't want to hear, fascists or socialists or idiots...hiding behind social media platforms, that is not an America I am proud to be a part of.

( Fact check, my ongoing motto is that "People are idiots" myself included...but I try not to yell it at others. I do try to listen to others. I do try to see other's points of view. I do have the humility to accept that I do not know all of the answers. But sometimes I do get really frustrated. Sometimes I do want to yell. Sigh.)

As always, there are people taking advantage of our anger and division - making money off of it, advancing their own agenda, feeding their own egos. This is causing our destruction. We are falling apart. We can't advance any legislation. We have politicized a viral infection in the middle of a pandemic. We are all anxious and angry and scared.

Please ignore those shouting the loudest.- and try not to be one of them.

Please ignore anyone who tells you only they have the answer.

Please ignore anyone who tells you everyone else is lying.

Please don't assume you are the only one "thinking about the issues on your own."

We are all just muddling through.

Please can we listen to each other, can we help each other out? Can we give a little of ourselves to help others?

Can we realize we are all the other?

(and does anyone else see the irony in the "my body, my choice" chant?)

Peace Out.

Sheila


Suggested readings:

Below are some articles and websites regarding vaccines in general, the measles vaccine which is the superhero of all vaccines, about COVID disease and opinion pieces about how people are dealing with covid. I am asking you to read them. I am asking you to think about them. I am asking you to talk with your children, neighbors, friends, teachers, doctors, lawmakers about them. What do you think?

Let's think and talk and try to come together to move forward..."I still believe..."


https://www.chop.edu/centers-programs/vaccine-education-center

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-03324-7

https://science.sciencemag.org/content/348/6235/694#aff-1

https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/long-view-covid-vaccine-safety-and-efficacy

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/08/delta-variant-pandemic-risk-safety/619798/

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2021/08/how-we-live-coronavirus-forever/619783/

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/08/health-care-workers-compassion-fatigue-vaccine-refusers/619716/

Playlist:  "Stopped Making Sense" : Spotify smknerr public playlists.

Remembering Grandma - my own recollections

So every day

So every day

I was surrounded by the beautiful crying forth 

of the ideas of God,

one of which was you.

by Mary Oliver

 I Ask Percy How I Should Live my Life (Ten)

Love, love, love, says Percy.

And run as fast as you can

along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.

Then, go to sleep.

Give up your body heat, your beating heart.

Then, trust.

by Mary Oliver

"And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney

My mother in law (Linda aka Grandma) passed away this past week. She was in a lot of pain and we grieved for her as we watched her decline in the last months of her life. She died peacefully at home with my father in law there with her. She was 85.

She was a wonderful person who was a part of my life for over 36 years. She had a lot of life before that, some of which she shared with us, some of which many others have memories of sharing with her. I only knew her at a few stages of her life, however she taught me a great deal in that time.

She taught me to worry less about myself and what I "deserve" and more about what I can do to help others. She taught me to listen more, and talk less. She did this always by example. She tolerated my (early?) selfishness without a word. She listened to me, and supported me, but never "gave advice." She never presumed to know more, (but she often did). She and Grandpa also show(ed) us daily how love for another is lived out through kindness and patience and laughter and tears. (And also through occasional frustration as well as forgiveness.) She lived her love and I always felt lucky to know her. 

She was generous with my husband and I, with my children, with my nieces and nephews.

The flowers she and Grandpa grew in their garden (mainly roses but also others) and her flower arrangements were just beautiful. I mean really exquisite. They have many silver plates and other prizes from the rose shows they competed in (and judged) for years. She also won prizes for flower arrangements. They even have a rose variety named after them. But it seemed like she loved working in the garden and arranging the flowers for friends and family or for shows, much more than receiving prizes. 

One of my regrets is that I did not realize her amazing talent for floral arranging until after my wedding. She provided flowers (roses the Knerr specialty) for my rehearsal dinner but not the wedding. What an error. Her flowers were head and shoulders above those provided by the local florist.

I was spoiled with roses from their garden as gifts while Jeff was "wooing me." And later we always got to take a bunch home after a visit. Store bought roses pale in comparison. 

There were also fresh vegetables (and once wine from grapes they grew) in the summer. We remember with a laugh when she wondered if I had ever had fresh corn before (I grew up in New York, which in her mind then was just the city- really I grew up in the suburbs and close to many farms with lots of fresh corn and tomatoes:)). That being said, the corn fresh by hours instead of days that we had at her house was pretty amazing. 

She loved dogs, lots of dogs. (and cats). We were fortunate to get our first dog (Rosy -originally Sapphire from one of Jenny's litters) as a puppy from them. During the time I knew her she mostly had springer spaniels (Luke and Lucy, then Sam, Jenny (who they bred twice) and then Jade and Ruby (two of Jenny's puppies), and then Dolly their yellow lab). They had other dogs and assorted cats before that as well.

She had no pretensions. Sometimes she seemed to lack confidence in herself but she was strong and smart and focused on the important things in life. Although she did seem to worry alot.

She liked polkas.

I remember the North Carolina beach- Emerald Isle. They rented a house every year for many years before they moved to Leland, NC- and even a few times after. They spent a week with all the kids and grandkids who could make it. She loved being in the ocean. She loved collecting shells and walking on the beach with her children and grandchildren. She especially liked the scallop shells but loved all of the treasures she and her kids and grandkids found for her.

We tie dyed shirts (and other items - sheets, socks, pillowcases)  every year at the beach.  We also had matching flag shirts some years and even shirts of various colors based on our generation.  We celebrated summer birthdays when we were there.

We were always welcome at her house, dogs included. I remember going to their place in Virginia for holidays during my medical training and being pampered. And then going with our kids and our dogs and always feeling welcome, feeling loved.

I remember New Year's Eve celebrations with Chinese food for dinner and then games, and silly string at midnight. 

I remember swimming in their pool with the kiddie pool on the side for the "babies" and the dogs running and jumping in the pool, or floating on the raft, or Jenny lying on the steps. (or was that Ruby?).

I remember skiing with her, and laughing with her...I was so lucky to be invited on ski trips to Vermont, Colorado and even Canada. 

I remember playing cards and other games. (like dummy rummy;)).

I remember learning about crafts and watching her make some wonderful things. She (and Laura) loved to make her own cards and decorations and wasn't afraid to play around with things like painting.

I remember the family reunion she hosted for her own mother's 90th birthday.

I remember often seeing hummingbirds in her yard in North Carolina.

I remember her and Grandpa going to Hannah's middle school award ceremony to "fill in" for us when we were away, one of the many times they helped us out with our kids.

I don't really know what else to say... I will miss her. She will be missed by many. But the love she shared will live on in her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren and countless others she touched during her life. 

Thank you Grandma! We love you.

Peace out. 

Sheila

Playlist: "For Grandma"- on spotify. Search smknerr - this is a collaborative playlist so you can add songs you like. You can also add photos to the comment section if you would like-the selection here is very limited.