"And we love to wear a badge, a uniformAnd we love to fly a flagBut I won't let others live in hellAs we divide against each otherAnd we fight amongst ourselvesToo set in our ways to try to rearrangeToo right to be wrong, in this rebel song
Let the bells ring outLet the bells ring outIs there nothing left?Is there, is there nothing?Is there nothing left?Is honesty what you want?"
U2 "Like a Song"
Pro-Child, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice!
Now that I have your attention…hopefully you will be curious enough to keep reading despite your opinion on the topic. I promise that there will be no more tired talking points only an attempt at a real conversation.
I made up this pithy but honest catchphrase. Catchphrases and simple talking points are easy to use to quickly express your opinions. I must confess I use them often as bumperstickers or in my windows. But you can’t begin AND end with them. There must be an in depth exploration of the topic at hand as well as an openness to conversation about the topic. There must be a willingness to listen to what other’s think and why. Life is complicated, even if we don’t want it to be.
As for the topic at hand-abortion, my own thoughts on the matter are much more nuanced than 6 words can convey. And I welcome conversation about them. I worry a great deal that there is not enough conversation. (Yes I have been called Satan for having this view).
In my opinion…Abortion is a tragedy. A woman having to confront the decision about whether to have an abortion, is a woman in a place she probably never imagined herself or wanted herself to be in.
Abortion is about ending a life, a fact many take as the beginning and the end of the subject, and that others try to avoid.
In fact, this life is ended in as many as 10-20% of pregnancies in which women know they are pregnant, and as many as 30% if you include those that occur before a woman is aware of her state. This is called a miscarriage. This is a distressing end of life that occurs. Some may say it is “God’s will” others bad luck. But this happens.
Some women abort their pregnancies for medical reasons- an ectopic pregnancy, aneuploidy or anencephaly, or for maternal health conditions for which carrying a pregnancy to term is contraindicated. Yes I used medical jargon. These are medical decisions. This is a tragedy. We do fetal surgery to help some conditions that were once near uniformly fatal but we can’t fix everything. Carrying a non viable fetus to term endangers the life of the mother for no reason.
Some women have “elective” abortions. This is a terrible term that makes it easy to assume these are financially independent consenting adults who have knowledge about the outcome of sex, the power to say no and access to reliable contraception. It also implies they have a supportive partner, a job with a livable wage, health insurance, and maternity leave. This term paints the picture of a decision made lightly and without thought by an irresponsible person who doesn’t deserve our empathy.
This is simply not true.
I want to end the need for abortions, but I recognize that the way to do it is not to ban them. These bans only help to ease the conscience of some and worse perpetuate a classification of women as second class citizens without natural rights, all at the expense of reality. This is a complex issue that will not go away because you pass a law.
If you want to end abortion, as I do, then lets work together to improve our society. Let’s raise the minimum wage, lets provide universal health care, lets educate our children about their bodies and about what consent looks like. Lets provide access to contraception. Lets guarantee paid family leave. Let’s actually punish men who assault women, including their partners/spouses, or who use their economic or societal power to “persuade” women to have sex with them. And let’s do it without putting the victim on the firing line. Let’s stop imprisoning people at such high rates thereby breaking apart families and perpetuating cycles of poverty. Let’s truly value children and support families and stop just giving them lip service. Let’s actually put our money where our mouth is. (Sorry I slipped and used a catchphrase). Let’s recognize families of all configurations and raise them up and celebrate them. Let’s FINALLY pass the equal rights amendment and recognize and codify that all people of any and all genders and orientations are full and equal participants in this country.
What else could we do if we were truly Pro children and Pro family in our country?
If you want to end abortion, hold your elected officials accountable to help meet the needs of families. And give women back the right to control their own bodies. If they have to face this tragedy, let’s give them the dignity and respect to face it according to their own consciences, not yours or mine.
Playlist :Letter to the Editor.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4x7FxkXeivyEIl16mb2NxT?si=885201014dcd4aa8
Book suggestion: "Ways of Being" James Bridle 2022
