Stopped Making Sense

"The world is loaded

It's lit to pop and nobody is gonna stop

No one
No one!
No way
Gonna
Stop, now go!

Farm people
Book wavers, soul savers
Love teachers!

Lit to pop and nobody is gonna stop"

Jane's Addiction


" I'm out on my own walkin' the streets
I look at the faces that I meet
I feel like I, like I want to go home
What do I feel?
What do I know?
But I still believe, I still believe
Through the shame and through the grief
Through the heartache, through the tears
Through the waiting, through the years
For people like us in places like this
We need all the hope that we can get
Oh, I still believe
Lie, lie, lie
Oh, yeah yeah
Lie, lie, lie"

The Call


"If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know, no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on, in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no
Help me out, yeah
You know you gotta help me out, yeah
Oh, don't you put me on the back burner
You know you gotta help me out, yeah"

The Killers


Everyone is angry. People are yelling at each other- on tv, on social media, at school board meetings...
The landscape is shifting and people want a certainty that neither science nor reason can seem to give.
Science is never about certainty, but that is not what people want to hear. Ideally, recommendations scientists make are based on the most accurate, most up to date data, and not influenced by a political or economic agenda. That is the ideal, but that is not always true or even possible.
Sometimes recommendations try to keep everyone as safe as possible, and may entail some individual sacrifice or inconvenience.
Experts in science including biology, medicine and statistics do have more ability to give reasonable risk assessments for different strategies than someone without their background and experience.

But how safe does everybody need to be? How safe can they be? People have different levels of tolerance for risk and that is hard when making policy recommendations for a group of heterogeneous people.

To some degree, people in our "representative democracy" should have a say in what level of risk they are willing to accept, what trade offs in their own comfort or safety they will give up, to keep themselves safe.

But what happens when what I decide for myself, or my child, affects everyone else- other individuals who are less safe due to my decision, and the whole global population who continues to give safe haven to a virus that is changing as it multiplies and may become more successful at evading our mitigation strategies?

People in America like to scream loudly about their "constitutional rights and freedoms." I think people are confusing freedom with selfishness. But in reality, your freedom to do what you want, is always limited by the harm it will cause to the general populace. If you live in a society, you have to follow some rules. America's freedoms are not free...they are not won with guns but with responsible actions and sacrifices that allow us to function. We struggle with the limits of the balance between rights and responsibilities and that has been America at it's best. I am proud to be an American when we can have constructive debates and move forward as a society.

Enter the screaming people...yelling loudest, calling people who have other points of view, or talk about facts they don't want to hear, fascists or socialists or idiots...hiding behind social media platforms, that is not an America I am proud to be a part of.

( Fact check, my ongoing motto is that "People are idiots" myself included...but I try not to yell it at others. I do try to listen to others. I do try to see other's points of view. I do have the humility to accept that I do not know all of the answers. But sometimes I do get really frustrated. Sometimes I do want to yell. Sigh.)

As always, there are people taking advantage of our anger and division - making money off of it, advancing their own agenda, feeding their own egos. This is causing our destruction. We are falling apart. We can't advance any legislation. We have politicized a viral infection in the middle of a pandemic. We are all anxious and angry and scared.

Please ignore those shouting the loudest.- and try not to be one of them.

Please ignore anyone who tells you only they have the answer.

Please ignore anyone who tells you everyone else is lying.

Please don't assume you are the only one "thinking about the issues on your own."

We are all just muddling through.

Please can we listen to each other, can we help each other out? Can we give a little of ourselves to help others?

Can we realize we are all the other?

(and does anyone else see the irony in the "my body, my choice" chant?)

Peace Out.

Sheila


Suggested readings:

Below are some articles and websites regarding vaccines in general, the measles vaccine which is the superhero of all vaccines, about COVID disease and opinion pieces about how people are dealing with covid. I am asking you to read them. I am asking you to think about them. I am asking you to talk with your children, neighbors, friends, teachers, doctors, lawmakers about them. What do you think?

Let's think and talk and try to come together to move forward..."I still believe..."


https://www.chop.edu/centers-programs/vaccine-education-center

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-03324-7

https://science.sciencemag.org/content/348/6235/694#aff-1

https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/long-view-covid-vaccine-safety-and-efficacy

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/08/delta-variant-pandemic-risk-safety/619798/

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2021/08/how-we-live-coronavirus-forever/619783/

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/08/health-care-workers-compassion-fatigue-vaccine-refusers/619716/

Playlist:  "Stopped Making Sense" : Spotify smknerr public playlists.

Remembering Grandma - my own recollections

So every day

So every day

I was surrounded by the beautiful crying forth 

of the ideas of God,

one of which was you.

by Mary Oliver

 I Ask Percy How I Should Live my Life (Ten)

Love, love, love, says Percy.

And run as fast as you can

along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.

Then, go to sleep.

Give up your body heat, your beating heart.

Then, trust.

by Mary Oliver

"And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney

My mother in law (Linda aka Grandma) passed away this past week. She was in a lot of pain and we grieved for her as we watched her decline in the last months of her life. She died peacefully at home with my father in law there with her. She was 85.

She was a wonderful person who was a part of my life for over 36 years. She had a lot of life before that, some of which she shared with us, some of which many others have memories of sharing with her. I only knew her at a few stages of her life, however she taught me a great deal in that time.

She taught me to worry less about myself and what I "deserve" and more about what I can do to help others. She taught me to listen more, and talk less. She did this always by example. She tolerated my (early?) selfishness without a word. She listened to me, and supported me, but never "gave advice." She never presumed to know more, (but she often did). She and Grandpa also show(ed) us daily how love for another is lived out through kindness and patience and laughter and tears. (And also through occasional frustration as well as forgiveness.) She lived her love and I always felt lucky to know her. 

She was generous with my husband and I, with my children, with my nieces and nephews.

The flowers she and Grandpa grew in their garden (mainly roses but also others) and her flower arrangements were just beautiful. I mean really exquisite. They have many silver plates and other prizes from the rose shows they competed in (and judged) for years. She also won prizes for flower arrangements. They even have a rose variety named after them. But it seemed like she loved working in the garden and arranging the flowers for friends and family or for shows, much more than receiving prizes. 

One of my regrets is that I did not realize her amazing talent for floral arranging until after my wedding. She provided flowers (roses the Knerr specialty) for my rehearsal dinner but not the wedding. What an error. Her flowers were head and shoulders above those provided by the local florist.

I was spoiled with roses from their garden as gifts while Jeff was "wooing me." And later we always got to take a bunch home after a visit. Store bought roses pale in comparison. 

There were also fresh vegetables (and once wine from grapes they grew) in the summer. We remember with a laugh when she wondered if I had ever had fresh corn before (I grew up in New York, which in her mind then was just the city- really I grew up in the suburbs and close to many farms with lots of fresh corn and tomatoes:)). That being said, the corn fresh by hours instead of days that we had at her house was pretty amazing. 

She loved dogs, lots of dogs. (and cats). We were fortunate to get our first dog (Rosy -originally Sapphire from one of Jenny's litters) as a puppy from them. During the time I knew her she mostly had springer spaniels (Luke and Lucy, then Sam, Jenny (who they bred twice) and then Jade and Ruby (two of Jenny's puppies), and then Dolly their yellow lab). They had other dogs and assorted cats before that as well.

She had no pretensions. Sometimes she seemed to lack confidence in herself but she was strong and smart and focused on the important things in life. Although she did seem to worry alot.

She liked polkas.

I remember the North Carolina beach- Emerald Isle. They rented a house every year for many years before they moved to Leland, NC- and even a few times after. They spent a week with all the kids and grandkids who could make it. She loved being in the ocean. She loved collecting shells and walking on the beach with her children and grandchildren. She especially liked the scallop shells but loved all of the treasures she and her kids and grandkids found for her.

We tie dyed shirts (and other items - sheets, socks, pillowcases)  every year at the beach.  We also had matching flag shirts some years and even shirts of various colors based on our generation.  We celebrated summer birthdays when we were there.

We were always welcome at her house, dogs included. I remember going to their place in Virginia for holidays during my medical training and being pampered. And then going with our kids and our dogs and always feeling welcome, feeling loved.

I remember New Year's Eve celebrations with Chinese food for dinner and then games, and silly string at midnight. 

I remember swimming in their pool with the kiddie pool on the side for the "babies" and the dogs running and jumping in the pool, or floating on the raft, or Jenny lying on the steps. (or was that Ruby?).

I remember skiing with her, and laughing with her...I was so lucky to be invited on ski trips to Vermont, Colorado and even Canada. 

I remember playing cards and other games. (like dummy rummy;)).

I remember learning about crafts and watching her make some wonderful things. She (and Laura) loved to make her own cards and decorations and wasn't afraid to play around with things like painting.

I remember the family reunion she hosted for her own mother's 90th birthday.

I remember often seeing hummingbirds in her yard in North Carolina.

I remember her and Grandpa going to Hannah's middle school award ceremony to "fill in" for us when we were away, one of the many times they helped us out with our kids.

I don't really know what else to say... I will miss her. She will be missed by many. But the love she shared will live on in her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren and countless others she touched during her life. 

Thank you Grandma! We love you.

Peace out. 

Sheila

Playlist: "For Grandma"- on spotify. Search smknerr - this is a collaborative playlist so you can add songs you like. You can also add photos to the comment section if you would like-the selection here is very limited.