“Like many other boys, I believed that the wherewithal to lead a successful life required, primarily and absolutely, a fistful of banknotes. The abject narrowness of this vision, the incompleteness of the thought, didn’t dawn on me. Nor did it occur to me that forty years later I would still be wondering what constituted real wealth.” Barry Lopez, "Horizon" 2018
"The disturbing thing about this is that relatively few people in America are able to live lives in which they are truly free. They are tied to the almighty dollar and to survive they must learn to tow the lines they’ve been urged to tow, though they have grown to believe this kind of regimented, obeisant, bounded existence actually represents freedom. They, we, I suppose, cannot risk thinking otherwise.” Barry Lopez, "Horizon" 2018
Healthcare in our country is a complete mess. There are just no two ways about it. The healthcare industry has become a business that requires sick people and expensive drugs to continue. We are losing any healing relationships we had between doctor and patient (although so called alternative practitioners - nurse practitioners, midwives, herbalists and the like have historically been better at this while the physicians catered to the rich and the barber surgeons to the masses, with the snake oil salesmen infiltrating all spheres). Wellness and the maintenance and upkeep of our bodies and our minds gets short shrift because they are time consuming and don't generate revenue. And we let the meat and dairy lobby influence our national dietary guidelines. And lets not even get into the health insurance mess. We do realize that having healthcare tied to our jobs is not some "American ideal" or "constitutional mandate" right? I mean we do know it only became a thing post World War II during an economic boom to attract men to jobs when salaries were already high right? The women needed to get back home to raise the children- even though they had been competently in the workforce during the war.
As I said, it is a mess. So why do I do it? It is really for the kids. I mean, I try to do the good that I can within a broken system, as many people I know also do, and I try to change the system when I can, but that is rare. But I really could not have the chutzpah to try to change things, or to put up with many of the frustrations inherent in the system if it wasn't for the kids. I have the privilege and the joy of being present at the birth of a child. I have the ability to help children who are acutely ill, and to help parents who have a sick child. And I get to interact with children of all ages. They are amazing creatures. Why you ask? Let me count the ways?
1. They are not afraid to fail- just watch a child learning to walk. They fail...alot, and they get frustrated yes. But they just keep trying until they succeed. And once they walk, they want to run, jump, gallop, and climb. We, as adults, continue to set limits on what they can try to do. Sometimes this is necessary for their safety, but sometimes it only stunts their growth as the limits are imposed for our convenience, or to help them "fit in" with society, or to be "financially secure."
2. They are curious, they want to take risks. They like to ask questions- especially Why? and often How? It may get frustrating at times but it is always important to try to encourage their curiosity and to help them find answers or to think about things.
3. They develop empathy naturally, but look to adults to define who they limit it to.
Research studies have shown us that children develop a "theory of mind" or the ability to understand that other people see the world differently then they do by age 4 or so. But empathy and the circle of of that compassion depends on a mothers (parents?) reaction to others hurting. If it is a big deal to her and she feels it is important to help others, her children will learn that. They start with that notion ingrained (to dislike the bully, to help the bystander), but they look to the adult to see if this always applies and if it does not who is included. Is it limited by race/gender/age/religion/sexual orientation/language/dress?
4. They do not care how much money you have, or your title or degree. They see right through your own self importance.
5. They know how to play. The importance of play for the development of young minds and young bodies is now undisputed. Children need to play, with each other in unstructured settings in order to learn about risk taking/consequences and to develop problem solving and critical thinking skills- literally to grow and shape their brains. Being outside in nature is an invaluable time for them to do this. They also require at least one adult who they can trust, who loves and supports them and thinks they are special. One who plays, reads, works and relaxes WITH them. One who allows them to explore and take risks, and to fail.
6. They find joy in being active. Too soon, children are taught to “sit still”: at their desk, at the dinner table, in front of the computer or tablet or tv. This becomes the natural state of most children and adults…sitting. But this isn’t natural, and it is a part of the large problem of obesity and chronic disease that afflicts us. The average child spends 40-50% of their awake time out of school in front of a screen, and only 20-30 minutes A WEEK in unstructured outdoor play. Both as individuals and as a society we need to find ways to change this.
7. They are not self conscious, until we teach them to be.
8. They are not bound by our ideas of what they should be, until we tell them.
9. They are close to the ground and remember to look at the small details of life.
10. They get sick quickly, but they heal so fast. They are programmed to heal and grow and have not spent years wearing out their bodies.
11. They just want to interact with you. They reach out to you. They need you - your presence to calm them, your back and forth talking, singing and reading in order to develop language, your love and support as they grow and expand their circles.
12. They like being outside, splashing in puddles, rolling in leaves, tromping in snow, looking at bugs...
13. If we are doing things "right" and things are going well, they become adolescents who challenge us.
Children need us. They need us to understand their developmental phases so we don't expect them to act in ways they cannot and then punish them when they don't. They will do what we do/model, not what we say. This is an awesome power and responsibility. So when we look to the next generation to save us, we'd better look in the mirror at what we are teaching them to value.
What is our goal for our children? To be like us? To fit in? To succeed in places we failed? To be safe? I believe it is best for everyone if the goal is to help them develop into adults who are not afraid to be true to who they are, whether that fits in with what we think they should be or not. I hope they will learn to think critically and form their own opinions. I pray that I will not limit their circle of empathy. I hope they will travel to other places and learn other people's stories, other ways to view the world. I am sad that money and power are the only goals seen as worthwhile in our country, and am sadder that the dependence on money and the skewed reward system in our society limits the dreams of many. I worry that they share their data so freely with companies that are manipulating them. This is bad enough for adults, but children are more easily manipulated and more damaged by the dark side of social media.
Adolescence is a time of maturation. Lopez uses “adolescence” as a derogatory term for a period of self gratification, but in my mind, it is where our salvation is to be found. How can we embrace the wisdom of nature and the ways other cultures have found to interact within it, if not to allow the child who is not yet conquered by fear of failure, not yet entrenched in the worn out paths to economic “success” at the expense of the climate, the land and all species including our own, to forge a new path free of our bias?
In other words, we need them.
And just as a PS. In order to help children, we need to meaningfully support families- not just the 1950s model nuclear family, not just heterosexual parents, not just Christian families, but families of all shapes, colors and sizes. I saw a terrible bumper sticker today. It was a "coexist" one - you know the one with all different religious symbols. But added to the top were the words: "Jesus didn't teach us to..." Shame on you. Jesus certainly didn't teach "limited" love. (Okay my rant is over). But we can't claim to support children while truly only supporting the few who meet certain criteria. This will only lead to a self perpetuating cycle of privilege and lack, of hatred and exclusion in the name of some ism... Speaking of isms, it isn't "socialism" to support families. If you really believe that unfettered capitalism is the "American way," then we will have to get rid of child labor laws, minimum wage, social security, medicare, medicaid, the Veterans Affairs committee, public education, public parks including national, state and local parks. Let's not forget we will unregulate utilities and no more public roads. There will be no clean air act, endangered species act, or clean water regulations. This is just to name a few of the publicly sponsored programs in our country. Republicans and Democrats have historically disagreed on what amount of government regulation is appropriate and the back and forth has been useful. But the idea that there should be either NO regulation or complete state ownership of all of the means of production has not been nor is it now consistent with the idea of a democracy.
As per the Merriam- Webster Dictionary:
(Socialism vs. Social Democracy: Usage Guide
In the many years since socialism entered English around 1830, it has acquired several different meanings. It refers to a system of social organization in which private property and the distribution of income are subject to social control, but the conception of that control has varied, and the term has been interpreted in widely diverging ways, ranging from statist to libertarian, from Marxist to liberal. In the modern era, "pure" socialism has been seen only rarely and usually briefly in a few Communist regimes. Far more common are systems of social democracy, now often referred to as democratic socialism, in which extensive state regulation, with limited state ownership, has been employed by democratically elected governments (as in Sweden and Denmark) in the belief that it produces a fair distribution of income without impairing economic growth.
Communism and socialism are both frequently contrasted with capitalism and democracy, though these can be false equivalencies depending on the usage. Capitalism refers to an economic system in which a society’s means of production are held by private individuals or organizations, not the government, and where products, prices, and the distribution of goods are determined mainly by competition in a free market. As an economic system, it can be contrasted with the economic system of communism, though as we have noted, the word communism is used of both political and economic systems. Democracy refers not to an economic system but to a system of government in which supreme power is vested in the people and exercised through a system of direct or indirect representation which is decided through periodic free elections.
What is the basic meaning of democracy?
The word democracy most often refers to a form of government in which people choose leaders by voting.
What is a democratic system of government?
A democratic system of government is a form of government in which supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodic free elections.
Peace out.
Further Reading:
"Horizon" or any other book by Barry Lopez
"Behave: The Biology of Humans at our Best and Worst."Robert Sapolsky
"The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" Bessel Van Der Kolk MD
"Our Wild Calling: How Connecting with Animals can transform our lives and save theirs." Richard Louv
Playlist: Wordknerrd blog #4: Teach Your Children